


Looking for God in all the wrong places

by FoxontheMoon



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coughing, Episode: s05e02 Good God Y'all!, Fever, God (Mention of), Samulet, Sick Castiel, Sneezing, There is a case fic somewhere I swear
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-04
Updated: 2016-01-13
Packaged: 2018-05-11 15:13:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5631166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoxontheMoon/pseuds/FoxontheMoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cut off from Heaven, Cas set up searching for God but instead finds himself in a strangely human situation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

NOW

Dean was driving back from their last hunt and Sam was snoozing, slumped against the window and mouth agape. Drooling a bit too. Dean chuckled and looked back at the road. All in a good day's worth. They were driving back to Bobby's after killing a bunch of vamps in Kansas City and it had been hard on them both. Dean was tired but the triple expresso he had at his last stop was keeping him wide awake.He knew it wouldn't last too long thou but he would manage to stay awake long enough to get them home safely. After an hour driving - a bit faster than required - he heard his cellphone vibrate and took it to his ear.  
  
"Hey Cas..."  
  
"Where are you, Dean?"  
  
Dean looked outside. They were in rural Dakota   
  
"We're on our way back to Bobby's now... Interstate 29-N, mile marker...112"  
  
"Thank you"  
  
Castiel... saying Thank you? This alone strike Dean as peculiar... but it took a few more seconds to realize that the 'Thank you' didn't come from the phone but from the back seat of his Impala. Throwing a fast look to his rear view mirror and not seeing the angel he doubted his perception. Speaking again in the phone he said.  
  
'Hum, you coming?'  
  
'I'm already there, Dean' No doubt possible. Throwing a look behind him this time, Dean was surprised to see Castiel sprawling on his back seat.  
  
'What...' Dean swerved and parked himself on the side of the road. Behind them, a car honked and Sam jerked awake. Dean finished his sentence.  
  
"What are you doing... laying down... on my back seat?'  
  
"I... hum... it's just the way that I arrived...'  
  
Castiel slowly got to a sitting position and Dean realized the angel didn't look all that good. His hair were matted on his head, his trench coat was wet and his face... he thought he looked paler than usual but it might just have been the lighting. Sam looked back and joked.  
  
'Having problems with your landing, Cas?'  
  
Castiel didn't answer immediately as he started to rub his eyes. Sam looked at Dean. Something was definitely off with their angel he thought.  
  
'I... maybe... yes' and without saying another word, he laid back down  
  
Dean frowned 'Nothing worse than a cryptic angel' he thought. They waited for him to explain himself but as he didn't say another word. They just took a good look at him and seeing nothing obviously wrong - No blood or anything sticking out of him - they decided that he would probably tell them what was a matter eventually and Dean resumed his course toward Bobby's. Except that Sam was no longer drooling on his window and looked back a few time to check on the angel who stay silent and did not move a muscle until they arrived at their destination, a few hours later.  
  


* * *

 

2 DAYS BEFORE

  
  
Castiel was sitting on a bench in London, looking at the sun rise over the river Thames. It was a particularly clear day and he was happy for the prospect of a little sun. The few cities he had visited the previous days were a bit damp and crowded but he hadn't found God in Bolivia, Singapour or Moskow. Next in the list was this park in London. It was a bit empty at the moment but in a few hours there would be lots of people passing through, children playing, dogs and squirrels running around. Castiel closed his eyes and when he opened them again, it was 10 o'clock  
  
As expected, there was more life than at 6:44 in the morning. A few people walking thru the park also childrens were playing in the swingset and running around. Castiel got up and touched Dean's amulet that was hidden in his left pocket. Imperceptibly warmer, he was sure it was a sign! He started to walk toward the playing children, still touching the amulet and gauging it's temperature, letting it guide his step.  
  
So concentrated he was on his task that he didn't see the kids that were running his way and, as kids often do, they bumped into his legs throwing off his equilibrium. The little boys stopped and laughed at him as he crashed loudly on the ground. Luckily their mother was able to catch them at that moment.  
  
'Oh I'm sorry Mister... they're always running into trouble those two...'  
  
Still sitting on the ground Castiel got a good look on the mother of two. Skin white as snow and a few freckles. Shoulder length auburn hair. He saw goodness in her warm hazel eyes.  
  
'Alex... Nathan... Say how sorry you are'  
  
Looking down Castiel tried to smile at the two brazen 5 years old boys and hoped that, as Dean had put it, he didn't look too scary. The two boys opened their mouth at the same time, and although one did say sorry, the other had a different response. He sneezed wetly right in Castiel's face. He blinked as both boys laughed and ran away, leaving the mother gaping at what had just happened. She got a crumpled tissue out of her handbag, tried to wipe Castiel's face in a rush as she explained how sorry she was... then she left to catch the boys anew.   
  
Finishing to wipe his face with the tissue, Castiel got up, dusted himself off and touched the amulet. Still lukewarm. Maybe he had imagined the change in temperature. Or maybe he should stay in this park until the end of the day, just in case.


	2. Chapter 2

**NOW**

  
  
Dean stopped the car as Sam jumped out. He decided to wait a few moment to see if Castiel would get out with them. Or start talking. After 10 long seconds and no movement from the angel, Dean extended his arm to touch him  
  
'Hey Cas... we're here! You're asleep or what?'  
  
After a beat, the angel answered.  
  
'I....I was meditating' then he slowly sat up.  
  
Dean got out of the car and waited for the angel to do his disappearing and reappearing act behind him, as usual - nothing make him jump like Castiel's Houdini act -  but instead he saw him open the door and with a hand griping the side, slowly get up. 'Weirder and weirder' Dean though. For a moment,he wondered if the angel might have discovered the pleasure of drinking alcohol but he didn't look inebriated, just tired. And at the risk of being insulting, Dean asked.  
  
'Hum, you're okay, Cas? I mean, your vessel, it hasn't been damaged or anything?'  
  
To what the angel threw him a hard look, then swaying a little, his gaze seemed to look right through him. If Dean didn't know any better... he would have though Cas was about to keel over but... he can't, can he?  
  
As an answer, Cas fell on his knee and Dean grabbed him before he could face plant on the gravel.

* * *

 

**1 DAY PRIOR**

  
  
Castiel would have stayed a bit longer in London, but the beautiful day had left it's place to a cloudy afternoon then a rainy evening. He strolled around the park until midnight then left for a small town in Texas.  
  
He soon found another bench and sat, observing the scenery while touching the amulet. It was a little bit after supper time and the sun was getting low. Still, it was warmer and more importantly, less humid than London. With a shrug he dried his coat and continued his vigil until morning,  
  
Around 7 o'clock, with a shiver he became aware that the amulet was getting colder, not warmer. This sudden realization struck him. He jumped on his feet, saying to himself  
  
'God must have been in London'  
  
But back in London, the rain had picked up to biblical proportion and Castiel decided to follow the people in a nearby bus stop shelter. As the buses brought and and took away more people, it was a good place to search for God but no matter how he touched the amulet, it stayed cold. Then after half an hour, when the clouds started to let go of the sky and the rain diminished to a faint drizzle, he decided to go back in the park and see if he could find again the faint traces of God's presence.  
  
A flap of his wings later, he was back in front of his park bench where he touched yet again the amulet. As another big shiver took him by surprise he couldn't believe what his fingers told him. It was colder still. 'Not possible' he thought. He had to be closer, he had to. Why did the amulet kept getting colder even if only a few hours ago it had reacted in this same neighborhood. Was God running away from him? The though made his head spin a little.  
  
He sat down puzzled, and decided that maybe God had fled the rain,not him and maybe he would come back when the sun was out again... he just had to be patient.  


* * *

  
  
**NOW**

  
  
'Fucking angels'  
  
Dean was yelling as he walked in circle in one of Bobby's room, He was so angry at Castiel that he couldn't stop swearing. Even if God was to appear in the room at that particular moment to smite him, he didn't care. He was angry at Castiel for dropping unconscious at his feet. Why hadn't he say something? He'd been silent for the two whole hours they were together in the car... he could have said something for Christ sake!  
  
'Fucking angels'  
  
He ranted again and Sam looked at him as if to say 'Shut up already' But Dean didn't care either. He was angry. But also worried. Sam had helped to get him inside - the angel was heavier than he appeared - and they immediately felt the heat radiating from him. And the strong shivers that almost made them drop him. twice. Bobby wheeled himself with a med-kit, got the digital thermometer out and placed it in his mouth but Dean was sure he had a fever from hell.  
  
And now he was starting to feel remorse for not seeing it before... his whole appearance was screaming 'I'm not okay' but Dean didn't call him on that. Not before they were at Bobby's. Cas was not used to ask for help so he should have been the one to said something... if someone deserved to be yelled at, it was him.  
  
The thermometer beeped and Bobby checked it.  
  
'104... look like a fever to me but how are we to know... ever took an angel's temperature before?'  
  
Sam looked closer and saw that Castiel's eyes were slightly open and ventured.  
  
'Hey Cas... How you feeling?'  
  
Dean stopped walking in a circle and got closer, Cas eyes were a bit unfocused but they were looking toward him.  
  
'I... I'm not sure...What happened? Why am I...' his voice caught in his throat and he started to cough uncontrollably. He rolled on his side and regained control. He continued with a weaker voice 'My throat appear to have been set on fire'  
  
Sam, Dean and Bobby looked at each others.  
  
'Not only your throat...you are burning up man' Dean commented 'Any idea why?'  
  
Castiel decided to shook his head instead of speaking and he realized that he brought him great pain and he winced.  
  
'Head... hurt...'  
  
Bobby pulled the Tylenol caplets from the kit and Sam ran was quick to fetch a glass of water.  
  
'Well for that and for the fever that... we assume you have, we got Tylenol'  
  
Sick or not, the angel managed to look puzzled. Bobby looked at Dean and Sam and they propped him in a sitting position with some pillows, and he reluctantly accepted to take the pills. Another clear sign that Cas was under the weather. Next they dosed the angel with some Nyquil. Of a common accord they had decided that talking to Cas in this state would get them nowhere. Better he rested, and the Nyquil would get him the sleep - again they assumed - that he needed as well as take care of his throat. Once he had swallowed the syrup, they left him 'meditating' a bit. The snoring they heard soon after confirmed the Nyquil's success.  


* * *

  
  
**A FEW MINUTES BEFORE THE CALL**

  
  
God... was not there. God wasn't anywhere!  
  
Castiel was still sitting on the bench, shivering almost continually now and tugging at his wet coat. He was cold, colder than he ever was. He got up the bench but had difficulty keeping his balance. The earth was shifting and shaking under him, but he took a breath and it steadied. At least the rain had stopped for a bit, and he could walk around the park. Slowly he began to move away from the bench and touched the amulet. Dean's amulet. Dean's icy amulet. Dean who was not there... where was he?  
  
He reached his other pocket to take the cellphone...


	3. Chapter 3

**A FEW HOURS LATER**

  
  
Castiel slowly opened his eyes and realized he wasn't in London anymore. And he was lying down. On a bed. Something icy cold weighted heavily on his forehead and a shiver overtook him. Dean drew closer and took his hand, green eyes locked on his own, filled with concern.  
  
'Dean...' the angel croaked but it was all he could say before the atrocious fire started anew in his throat and made him cough again. Hard.  
  
'Hey Cas... I'm here... we're all here' he said to comfort him. Sam joined him a moment later, holding a glass of water for him to drink, which he did, without any protest.The cold water calmed the fire in his throat and Castiel risked a few more words.  
  
'Why am I...' His voice was no longer the gruff and deep voice they knew. It was weaker, whispery and broke at the end but Sam understood what he was asking.  
  
'We don't know... we thought you could explain it to us. You called us to know where we were and you appeared in the car in this... state.' He frowned 'What's the last thing you remember?'  
  
Cas closed his eyes with a look a pained concentration and for a moment they thought he had dropped back to sleep. But after shivering once again, he opened his eyes and looked away.  
  
'... searching for God,  
  
'Okay'  
  
'... not in London'  
  
'Right... Were you attacked?'  
  
He slowly shook his head, remembering the worsening pain he felt last time he did.  
  
Dean looked at Sam, not sure what to ask next but the angel's mind appeared to be far away.  
  
'... So cold and... wet'  
  
Outside of his field of vision, Bobby frowned and grumbled to himself 'Idjit!' Dean and Sam threw him a questioning look and he explained.  
  
'London is really rainy this time of year... Friggin' Angel must have stayed in the rain too long and caught his death!' Then half to himself he continued 'Well at least it explain the state of his clothes too.'  
  
They looked back at Castiel who was back with them but looked a bit scared. Bobby concluded.  
  
'No you ain't gonna die... it's an exp ****ression. You just caught a bug...a virus' he corrected 'and now you're sick.' Cas looked more confused by the moment. 'I know I know... you're an angel of the lord and all that but... Ya feel like crap, you pass out, you burnin' up and your throat feel like a goddamn volcano, right?  
  
Barely perceptible nod from Castiel.  
  
'Yeah! Sound like the flu to me. I guess you're not immune to our earthly disease anymore'  
  
The angel's gaze lost focus for a few seconds as he appeared thoughtful and Bobby shrugged and said more softly this time.  
  
'Well at least you came to us and you're in good hand now. We know our way around our human failings' Taking the bottle of Nyquil from his lap he said. 'And we got just the stuff to take care of it'  
  
Castiel slowly nodded.

* * *

  
  
When he woke up a few hours later, Cas was feeling a little better. His throat and head were still hurting. And he still felt shivery but his mind seemed clearer. Dean was asleep on a desk chair and didn't look too comfortable.  
  
The angel stretched, tested his muscles and winced as he was sore all over. Even his wings so he didn't risk using them to get out of bed. He instead moved very carefully to avoid waking up Dean.  
  
As he was preparing to put his feet on the ground, he felt a slight tickle which made him hitch once before it receded. He paused an instant, wondering where this was coming from. He lifted his hand to his nose, touching the bridge where the tingling had originated and it came back stronger, making his eyes water and his nostrils quiver. He couldn't stop himself from opening his mouth, hitching three or four time before it exploded out of him.  
  
'K'shhhhhew..eh... kshhhhu...kshhhhew... uh uh...Uhhhhh Ksheew... Ksheh Ksheh eh... eh... ehhhhhhh......'  
  
His eyes shut as he seemed suspended in time, the only thing moving was his nostrils flaring some more then....  
  
'AKKSHUuuu'  
  
Dean had jerked awake at first sneeze and looked around, surprised to see Cas who seamed to have totally lost control and surrendered to the fit. Then after the last one erupted out of him, he lost himself again to the coughing fit that followed.  
  
Dean winced as he stroked his back and after the fit ended, he eased Cas back into the bed. The angel didn't complain or fight back. Whatever that was, it had exhausted him and small bead of perspiration had appeared on his forehead.  
  
Sam who had come running at the first sign of trouble, walked back to Bobby's study as he conferred with him about the possible course of action.  
  
He sighed 'Maybe we should find a way to reach someone in his garrison. He doesn't seems to get better. His fever keeps spiking back up no matter how many meds we give him.  
  
Dean joined them 'I dunno Sammy... I think there's a reason he came to us instead of going back upstairs. Maybe he can't, or maybe he doesn't want to. He keep saying it's a civil war up there...'  
  
Bobby chimed in 'Well I sure doesn't want a fight to break in here too... but It's only been about a day. I say we give him a little more time before getting more feathered ass in here. Till then, we keep the hex bags close' he said, stroking the one in his pocket. The brothers agreed.  
  
He was about to roll out of the study when he stopped and said.  
  
'I'm going on a hunch here but I'll say that if flyboy can be sick, he might as well need to eat too so I'll go warm up a little soup for him' He pushed forward in his wheel chair saying 'Be back in a few'  
  
Dean went back to check on Cas and Sam sat back in front of the computer, intent on looking for any signs of Horsemen or Demonic activities. The world wouldn't save itself!  
  
For the moment Dean observed, the angel seemed to have settled in a restful slumber so when about 30 minutes later, Bobby came back with a steaming bowl of, from the smell of it, homemade chicken soup, he hesitated a few second before gently trying to rouse him.  
  
'Hey Cas, buddy... Wanna try some chicken soup?' The angel's eyes opened ever so slightly. In a whispery broken voice he protested.  
  
'Don't require... sustenance'  
  
Dean explained 'It's kind of a ritual for us humans. When we get sick, we get soup. It's one of those human things that makes us feel almost instantaneously better. You should try it, can't hurt'  
  
Castiel studied the steaming bowl as if he was trying to count how many molecules it contained (and maybe he did) then he looked up and nodded. Dean helped him get seated and watched him take his first sip cautiously, then a second and a third. So far, so good. But after half his bowl his sipping slowed down. His eyelids heavy, his head started to bob down. He was falling asleep. Dean gave back the bowl to Bobby, and he helped him down once again. Then he sprawled back on the uncomfortable chair for another nap.

* * *

  
  
Castiel slept another few hours until he woke up in the middle of a dream. He didn't remember having one before so it must have been his first. But it was not a pleasant one.  
  
He was in Hell, searching for Dean so he could bring him back from the pit but no matter he looked, he couldn't find him. And it was so hot his feathers were starting to turn grey and smoke. Panicking he thought 'What if I can't find him? What if I fail God? What if I stay stuck in here and burst into flames?' He was breathing faster and faster. He felt the heat on his skin and he caught the sent of his feathers starting to burn.  
  
'Dean!' he was screaming....'Dean!' The smoke caught in his throat and he started to cough uncontrollably...  
  
... and he woke up still coughing as Dean was trying to comfort him. Tears were streaming down his face as he had trouble catching his breath but as the smoke from his dream dissipated, so did his coughing fit. Still remembering his nightmare, Castiel looked straight into Dean's eyes with an intensity he had almost never shown. Fierce blue eyes locked into his own green, worried eyes. Silently screaming 'Don't ever leave me'  
  
Dean still a bit shaken whispered to the angel.  
  
'You ok now?'  
  
Castiel nodded as he concentrated to slow down his breathing. Then he said with his ghost of a voice.  
  
'Just a bad dream'  
  
Then he closed his eyes again for a few seconds...

* * *

  
  
... which happen to last a few hours.  
  
He came to as something in his mouth made a noise. He opened his eyes to see Dean and Sam looking down on something then they smiled.  
  
'It's definitely going down' Dean rejoiced.  
  
'Good lord,..finally!' Bobby said from the other side of the room. Sam looking down nudged Dean.  
  
'Welcome back Sleeping Beauty!' Dean cheered. Cas frowned, obviously not understanding the reference.  
  
'You scared us for a while but I think you gonna start feeling better soon.'  
  
From beyond his field of vision, Bobby asked.  
  
'You want some more soup?'  
  
The angel nodded. He didn't feel hunger but the soup had succeeded at making him feel better so he hoped it would work again this time. And when Sam brought the bowl, Castiel sipped it in it's entirety. Then more Nyquil and Tylenol lulled him back to sleep.


End file.
